Get the Difference, Get a Life
Dear F,
It is good to see you sitting back happily and watching the
same movie that you have watched for the 72nd time while your family
members are busy preparing dinner, cleaning the house avoiding coming between
the television and you, and keeping their volumes low while having
conversations just so that you don’t miss that dialogue which you believe is life altering.
Avatar the 1983- Rajesh Khanna starrer where the protagonist
Avatar Kishen defies all odds and emerges victorious creating an empire is like
your TED Talk. His sons betray him after marrying greedy wives. He loses his
job because of an accident and leads a life of abject poverty. He is served by
his faithful wife and also a servant. He then makes a breakthrough and turns
into an industrialist. That is when the story begins to change. He goes back to
all the ‘villains’ and reminds them that karma exists. Similarly, the movie
Baghbaan, which happens to be your favourite- where Amitabh Bacchhan is
ill-treated by his sons, writes a book on his life and wins the Man Booker
Prize (Let me laugh a bit) and makes a speech that again reminds his children
that karma exists. I am sure both the movies have succeeded in making ambitious
children look like villains and make them feel guilty every time they take a
step toward fulfilling a dream that might not involve their parents. Thanks to
the obvious caricatures and exaggerated scenes the message that aiming for
success is actually a selfish act, is loud and clear. I am sure, you would love
us to watch the movies and undergo a debrief process where you might want to
draw parallels between Avtar Kishen’s, Raj Malhotra’s and your life and
therefore the villains and us.
All the times I have seen you cry watching these movies, I
feel bad because I know what you are thinking. You think that your three
daughters and your wife are the ones who have ill treated you. They are the
ones who have taken things away from you and left you alone to deal with the
hardships of life. Whether you imagine yourself winning a writing competition
or turning around your business is a mystery to me- this is also the crucial
part of the script- in case you are forgetting. Your wife, just like Shabana
Azmi’s character, Radha in Avatar and Pooja in Baghban, is absolutely devoted to
you, you clearly seem to have disregarded that fact. Let me also tell you some
definite facts that end the parallels- neither Avatar nor Raj terrorized their
children, beat/ slap them until they were 25 years of age, refuse to provide
for their needs, in short they never were not fathers. They played, spoke,
respected and cared for their children and their wives. This is why the movie
makes sense- you get what you give. They cared for their children and even
though for a short time they were not cared for, they were eventually taken care
of. They loved and respected their wives in ways that forced the relationship
to become reciprocal too.
It is surprising how you have never shed a tear while
watching Taare Zameen Par- doesn’t that
father who bares his teeth while talking to his very frightened child remind
you of anything? You will never watch Udaan
that one, by the way, is far closer home and people need courage to accept the
characters as being their own.
These movies are not one sided- like everything in life. You
need to get a more holistic view- look at the other side, which might just end
up being the uglier side or a more beautiful side, depending on which side you
look from. I wish good things for you and I hope you lead a wonderful life. Finally, make the time to watch movies that make parents look wrong too- because you were also once a child.
Yours truly,
D
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